


Lost Time Memory

by Xyilver



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-21 22:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3705969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xyilver/pseuds/Xyilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Kagerou Fanfic<br/>Ayano x Shintaro</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_"You're annoying."_

His hands grasped the red scarf they held ever tighter.

"Ayano."

Memories of his hands, slapping away her warmth and concern.

_"Stop telling me what to do!"_

Teardrops, one by one, hitting the floor like bricks. Materialized sorrow.

"I'm sorry..."

Fingers tracing the rims of the tombstone, muffled weeping, breaths cut short by the crying. Knees on the ground, body almost prostrate, clinging onto the grave.

_"Shintaro."_

Her face, so vivid in his memory.

"I love you."


	2. Emergence

"Shintaro!"

A sound chased after him, getting closer by the second. Footsteps, hurriedly trying to catch up. In response, he quickened his pace.

But the pursuer didn't relent, coming faster and faster until he felt arms wrap around him, the pursuer having pounced upon him. A girl's slender arms wrapped tightly around him and when he turned back, she breathed in a sigh of relief and smiled at him kindly.

"Let go of me."

She didn't listen, instead pouting while gripping onto him after tighter.

"I don't wanna. If I do you're just going to run away again."

"So what if I do?"

"You need to cheer up a bit."

"No."

He turned to face the front and tried to walk but when he did, the resistance was still there. Turning back to scold the girl once again, he saw tears pooling up in her eyes.

"Wha-?!"

"Shintaro you big meanie!"

"H-hey! Don't cry! Ah dammit. I'll go with you alright?"

Immediately she brightened up and released him, smiling brightly.

"OKAY!"

"Tch."

\---

"Let's get some ice cream."

A harmless suggestion. There was a vendor set up not far away, selling the frozen dessert to children. Even as they approached, he was handing over a cone to a child. They waited for the middle aged vendor to stand up and as he did, he eyed them over before smiling warmly.

"What a nice young couple."

"C-c-couple?! N-no, you've got it wrong. We're just friends."

The vendor frowned slightly.

"Is that so? You look great together though."

A full blush came over Ayano as her hands flew to her face, trying to cover her redness. Shintaro on the other hand, turned away, his face growing slightly red as well. The vendor chuckled.

"Well then, for the nice couple, it's one for one."

With a warm and knowing smile on his face, he passed two cones to them and collected the money for one. The two of them were still blushing furiously of course, but they had no choice other than to accept the offer.

\---

Minutes later found the two sitting at a nearby bench nibbling on ice cream cones. Ayano was visibly enjoying hers while Shintaro merely nibbled on monotonously.

"Oh that's right!"

"?"

As if she had suddenly remembered something, Ayano finished off her cone by popping the remainder in her mouth before starting to rummage through her backpack. Seconds later, she pulled out something red and on closer inspection he understood what it was. A red jersey jacket, the same color as her signature scarf.

"For you!"

She said, presenting the jacket to him.

"Are you trying to induct me into some club for red?"

"If you don't want it then I'll keep it!"

There was a disappointed tinge in her look as she responded. Reaching over, he grabbed the jersey.

"I never said I didn't want it."

As he took it however, he thought he saw her blush for a moment but in the next, it was gone, replaced by a bright smile. He knew what she was thinking. Sighing, he unfolded the jersey and wore it. It fit perfectly, as if she had some means of obtaining his exact size.

"I guessed the size but it fits. It really suits you!"

He turned away shyly, refusing to let her see him blush.

"Let's go. It's getting late."

"Mhm."


	3. If Only

"Go home without me today."

A stunned Shintaro immediately swiveled his head to face her, wide-eyed in disbelief. The Ayano who was always the one suggesting they travel together was now doing the exact opposite. But there was something of sad determination in her eyes, as if she had resolved to do something she would regret dearly; that look silenced him.

"Mm."

Was his reply. In retrospect he should have said something else, should have asked what was the problem. Instead he diverted his attention back to the lesson ongoing, trying to escape the reality of the situation.

When the final bell rang, he did as he was told, grabbing his bag and heading down to his locker. Yet just as he was about to put on his shoes, an unnerving feeling came over him and he placed them back to make one last stop.

Slowly first, then slightly faster, until he was running up the stairs, picking up speed as he went. And when his feet reached the correct floor, he stopped straight in his tracks. For a moment, he stood there unable to move a muscle. Until finally with a gulp, he mustered enough courage to walk, ever slowly, to the classroom he had just left.

"Ayan--?!"

Inside, seated on her chair was Ayano, with an expression he had never seen her possess the whole time he had known her. Tears were streaming fluidly down her eyes as she stared blankly into a piece of paper. Droplets fell onto the paper, soaking it even as she clutched tightly.

For a moment, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Her lonely figure silhouetted by the sunset. An entrancing and beckoning feeling drew him forward. To say something, do something. But as he drew his foot forward, he stopped it in midair.

What could he possibly do? Was it even right for him to be seeing her like this? All at once, thoughts of self doubt struck him like a bullet.

By the time he snapped back to reality, he had begun slowly backing out of the room, step after step. And when he had removed himself fully from sight, he made a mad dash to his locker and grabbed his shoes to wear. As he left the school grounds, he took one look back in the direction of the classroom, but alas it was empty. Turning back with disappointment at his own weakness, he ran off, biting his lip, leaving his friend, his close, one and only best friend, behind to face her demons alone.

If only he had said something, went up to console her, shared her burden, anything. Perhaps she would still be here.

That was his first thought after the initial shock when he saw the vase of flowers on her empty table.


	4. Restart

In truth the shock never really faded after that day. Even at her funeral, he sat in a corner staring solemnly at her smiling face, framed delicately in wood. Nothing anyone said conjured a response. As if he had been frozen from that moment, not a single tear fell from him. For a long time afterwards, it remained that way as he sunk further and further into depression.

The burden of her death rested heavily on his shoulders, weighing down so much he could barely breathe. Going to school was a torture more than a chore now; seeing her empty desk only added to the ever increasing weight until his weak self could not take it and broke down. Before then he had already become a shadow of his former self. All the arrogance and confidence from before had dissolved upon her passing, as if she were the only reason why he could exist as that version of Kisaragi Shintaro.

There was no real point in anything anymore. It was not as if the world would change drastically. His grades couldn't get any better, nor would anything special happen in the world. The world would forget her, her smile and her warmth. One day the name Tateyama Ayano would be lost in time. 

Soon after he withdrew from school altogether, secluding himself in his room from society. To protect his weak self from ever being hurt again and to run away from the reality that was so strongly pressing upon him and to keep the memory of her alive.

_Two years later..._

"Aaaaarghhhhhh!!!!!!"

A scream echoed out from the room. Back inside, Shintaro was desperately wiping his keyboard with tissue but to no avail. It had short-circuited and along with it the computer. All the data on that song he had been working on was lost.

"Oops," responded a voice from his phone. Glaring at the device, he saw the girl within sticking out her tongue and scratching her head sheepishly.

"OOPS?! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THAT FOR AGES!! AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS OOPS?! @&$$#^%!!"

Pouting, the blue headed AI moved her face closer to the screen. "Don't be so worked up, Master. We'll go get a new one."

Shintaro slumped back into his seat, consumed by utter exasperation. He couldn't lift a finger against the selfish and assertive artificial intelligence. But what else could he do? He had to get a new desktop.

"Oh let's go to that new department store. Seems like they have a discount for desktops."

A groan escaped him and he stooped in his seat for a long while, pondering the alternatives. Online shopping would remove the need to leave the house but it would take at least a couple days before the delivery arrived. And it wasn't as if he had any friends to beg a favor from. Momo's was out of the question as well. He hadn't interacted with her for ages and she would never let him use her desktop anyways. Plus, she was always out either at school or her idol job and it wasn't as if he had her number.

"Urgh... Fine. But..."

After agreeing he realized the crucial issue. He hadn't left his room for two years. The landscape had bound to have changed over that time. It would be like someone from the country coming to the city for the first time.

"You have no idea how to get there right?" the AI smiled devilishly. She definitely had something up her sleeve. "Well~ I could direct you, but~ I want to go the amusement park nearby."

There it was. The fatal condition. As if it weren't bad enough he had to leave the comfort of his home, he had to go to a crowded amusement park as well. She was trying to torture him wasn't she.

"Actually..." he began, turning to face his computer. But it had broken past the point of salvation. "Urgh... Fine."

Grabbing his jacket, he gave a great sigh before opening the door and at that moment, he could have sworn she was smiling behind him. But when he turned around, all that was there was the lone paper crane sitting gracefully upon his desk. Turning away, he closed the door, whispering a parting message to the room. "I'll be back."


	5. Epilogue

Yellow, purple, blue... and red. A bouquet of multicolour in one hand, supporting himself with the other, as he knelt down gently before the tombstone, laying upon the present. A year ago, he had clutched the very same rock in grief and despair, tears falling upon the material like rain, soaking it thoroughly. It had been one of the few times that emotion had overcome everything for him.

And here, a year later he stood. It wasn't as if he had gotten over her, or moved along in life. No, she was still an integral part of his life; more so now than ever before in fact. It was that he had gained the strength and courage to accept the reality that she had passed on as part of his life, remembering her memory for all that she had done instead of clinging on obsessively to that faint image that he had of her. She did not exist because he remained fervent in his belief that she was not gone. It had taken him years but it had finally caught on. Not without help, but it had.

"Shintaro, are you done?"

A voice came from behind and others followed along with it. His friends were waiting for him; friends who had stuck by him through thick and thin and brought him out of the darkness that had so enshrouded him after her passing. Friends that she would have been proud of him for making. And somehow, each and every single of them was connected to her in some way or another, as if she were the link behind everything.

"Give me another five more minutes!" he called back, responding to the voice that had called him.

Everyone had had their chance to say their prayers, at least he had to say something.

"It took me a while, but I finally came through. If you were here you'd probably say something annoying about it."

Smiling sourly to himself, he took a step back. The graveyard had never seemed so peaceful and beautiful before, illuminated by the sunset. Shades of orange and red, lit vividly the painted sky. And as he turned around, a figure stood before him, silhouetted by the evening rays. But that appearance was unmistakenable. Donned with a white dress and a red ribbon upon her bosom, the familiar locks outlining the shape of her face, even as her smile shone as bright as the evening sun.

"Mean as ever, aren't you, Shin-chan?"

"Aya-" he stared at her speechless. Whether it was her beauty or the mere shock from seeing her or both, he couldn't tell at that point in time and never thought about it from then on anyways. Questions flooded his mind, that he wanted and needed to ask but words wouldn't come out of his mouth until she giggled at his sudden muteness and said something he didn't expect.

"I'm home."

And all at once he knew how to respond, putting on a smile as bright as hers, one that he would have never shown another prior to everything that had happened.

"Welcome back."


End file.
